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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

Overcoming Shyness
Advice from a reply that applies to lots of people
Replies: 781Last Post Sep. 20 11:21am by runthespread
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( Plastik )

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You also lack confidence, I see.


And that's why he's here. There's always someone here whos's been there, done that, seen the worst of what it has to offer, and seen it turned around.

So let's attack the situation thoughtfully, shall we?

Do only the jacked jocks have girlfriends? Do only these people do ANYTHING with girls? The obvious answer is a loud no. So we've discovered that you are not hopeless, just lost. There is a means to the end, you just don't have it, and probably can't figure it out yourself at the moment. But it's there. Let's take it up another notch.

You can get a girl. The possibility is there. So how do we act on it? Well, let's see! What do girls respond to? Confidence. The jacked jocks get this in spades because of popularity and body, so it comes naturally. For the rest of us, it's a bit more daunting. Here's the kicker though. If you have confidence, nothing else matters. You can even be a jackass, and confidence will get you X distance. Of course, to get further than X, you need not be a jackass, but I'm just saying. Confidence drives half the race.

Alrighty...so we need confidence. How do we do that?! ...You have quite a bit of control over this. Never put yourself down, even if you think you're just admitting the truth. Never. Ever. You are fucking awesome, and you're gonna get what you want. Period. Adopt this mindset. As said by C. S. Lewis, if you wear a mask over yourself, you'll find yourself conforming to that mask sooner or later. Believe and you will be. Every time you look down on yourself, whether you think it's true or not, you reset back to square one. Remember that.

So now we have the road to confidence. But we're not quite done. Shyness is a factor that dwindles with confidence, but still needs to be overthrown to help build confidence at the same time. Talk to the people around you. Be loud. You don't have to make a total change all at once, but just take it in comfortable strides. Talk to that girl next to you in math class tomorrow, about the weather. Anything. Say hi. I started on this road by a very simple method that worked superbly: Acknowledge every single person you see in the hall that you know. Whether you're good friends or just kind of know them from another class. I make it a point to nod and say their name. There goes Josh from Science...I nod and say Josh in a friendly-hello-ish tone of voice. This, you should start immediately. It is easy to bring yourself into, and helps greatly with shyness and confidence, without you even realizing it.

So now we're combating the shyness/confidence situation. What else do we need? Attitude. Be friendly. Always. Even people you hate. Diplomacy is the most important aspect. Be able to get along with the smartest kid in the class and the dumbest gangsta kid. Adapt to your situation such that they look at you like an equal. If you want more clarification on this I could go off on this a bit. With the sense of diplomacy thrown into the mix, all you have to do is just set your attention on the girls. Acknolwedge the girls in the halls. Say hi. Be friendly. Smile. You don't even have to talk all that much. A few hellos go a long way. Always smile too. Never let yourself look sad. That's a turn off.

...and that's it for the moment....try it out. Keep us posted. Post any events that you thought went wrong or you thought went right. We'll keep you advised.

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And then his mind exploded.


8:44 pm on April 15, 2004 | Joined Sep. 2003 | 263 Days Active
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rebelion


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And there's another thing that can help:

Always remember that the other person may be just as shy,if not more than you.If you just say to yourself that the other person may be more scared than you...it'll work for you.

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Load up on guns and bring your friends It's fun to lose and to pretend And I forget just why I taste Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile I found it ha


12:39 pm on April 16, 2004 | Joined Oct. 2002 | 396 Days Active
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Spirit


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very nice post, i suffer from shyness but recentely i've been getting better and these are some of the tips i've been using  

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Butterflies all out having fun, you know what I mean.

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Apos


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.

(Edited by Apos at 3:37 pm on Nov. 4, 2004)

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remmy


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.

(Edited by remmy at 11:27 pm on July 4, 2006)

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person411

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Yeah...good advice....its just so hard to actually make yourself take the steps to do everything...

6:05 pm on April 16, 2004 | Joined Sep. 2003 | 442 Days Active
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RbdSqrl


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Well, I used to be really shy then i realized that no matter what i do ppl are going to think wat theyre going to think.. u know? I dunno thats just wat i think  :)

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"Thats Because Your Such A Naughty Mole!"
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VenomRaptor


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I started out thinking ur advice was b/s but finished completey different.... great post I must say! Thanks for the tips!

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"Love is like feeling the sunshine from both sides"

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TheArtist6472


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Quote: from VenomRaptor at 2:13 am on April 18, 2004

I started out thinking ur advice was b/s but finished completey different.... great post I must say! Thanks for the tips!

This is what I thought!!....Thanks alot!


12:12 pm on April 18, 2004 | Joined Nov. 2003 | 226 Days Active
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aften


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Quote: from Plastik at 8:44 pm on April 15, 2004


You also lack confidence, I see.


Be able to get along with the smartest kid in the class and the dumbest gangsta kid.


so um...you might not have worded that to the best of your ability..


4:33 pm on April 18, 2004 | Joined Feb. 2004 | 65 Days Active
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TormentedSoul


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That's really good advice, which I am going to try and follow. I also try and convince myself my crush won't bite my head off (*imagines it and cracks up laughing*) so I should just say 'hi'

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I miss the days when I was happy, insted my days are filled with darkness. There is no light that helps me go on.

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mijjenta


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yes! i can truly say that that was probably one of the best posts i've ever read on this site. i've struggled with confidence and shyness problems for my entire life, and i really really liked how you put it. thank you very much!

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mijjenta

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masterof420


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Quote: from mijjenta at 8:16 pm on April 19, 2004

yes! i can truly say that that was probably one of the best posts i've ever read on this site. i've struggled with confidence and shyness problems for my entire life, and i really really liked how you put it. thank you very much!

I would have to agree 100%

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When Death Smiles Upon You, All That There Is Left To Do Is Smile Back.


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proanexwannabe


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I am very shy, always have been, but I have recently been telling myself that I am beautiful and I feel it more now and see a difference in the way people look at me!  If you believe it, they will believe it!

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Claire

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duckjuice


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Good advice, I'm still fairly shy but I'm getting their. Even before I saw this topic I used some of those seem tips. I found them through other means though like google a stuff but...I've tried most of them and they do work...and I can tell you this from personal experience. I use to be shy all through junior high and at the beginning of the 10th grade..but because of some friends I made simply by just saying hi and having confidence in myself through the rest of the 10th grade and the 11th and 12th grade I had a ton of confidence...I even got a girlfriend who liked me very much...but I fucked it up mostly because my shyness started to wore on again but anyway...I just started college and I'm still kinda shy to talk to people their but now its wearing off again and my confidence level soon will be that of which it was in highschool or even higher. Just don't let you confidence level get to high because then you become cocky and ignorant, I was like that but I'm not anymore..I think anyway its not a good thing ill leave it at that.

But all these tips he has here work 100% trust me ;)

(Edited by duckjuice at 7:54 pm on April 19, 2004)

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Have a nice DAY!


7:52 pm on April 19, 2004 | Joined April 2004 | 3 Days Active
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